So is no one going to help the pink guy?

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  POUR SOME BEER ON ME AND THROW ME A SANDWICH!!!!!!!

Water Main Break Closes West Market St. - Winston-Salem News Story - WXII The Triad

Water Main Break Closes West Market St. - Winston-Salem News Story - WXII The Triad

Mount Airy Mayor Recovering After Traffic Accident - Winston-Salem News Story - WXII The Triad

Mount Airy Mayor Recovering After Traffic Accident - Winston-Salem News Story - WXII The Triad

Conditions Treacherous As Rain Freezes To Roads - Winston-Salem Weather News Story - WXII The Triad

Conditions Treacherous As Rain Freezes To Roads - Winston-Salem Weather News Story - WXII The Triad

STAY OFF OF THE ROADS OR GO INTO WORK LATE. ROADS ARE BAD THIS MORNING. WRECKS EVERYWHERE. TAKE YOUR TIME IF YOU HAVE TO BE OUT IN THIS MESS.

Police Search For Wallet Thief - Winston-Salem News Story - WXII The Triad

Police Search For Wallet Thief - Winston-Salem News Story - WXII The Triad

YES PEOPLE, IT IS THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN. SO SUPERGLUE YOUR WALLET TO YOUR PANTS AND HANDCUFF YOUR PURSE TO YOU ARM BECAUSE SOMEONE WILL TRY TO STEAL IT FROM YOU. PERHAPS IF WE TOOK OUR WALLETS AND PURSES AND HOOKED THEM UP TO A TASER. HMMMMMMMMMMM! JUST THINKING OUT LOUD BUT WALLET/PURSE + TASER = LIGHTNING RIDE!!!!! WELL MY GOOD IDEA IS SENDING ME TO A WORKSHOP TO MAKE THE PROTOTYPE.

Jingle Farts?!